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بڑے بوڑھوں سے سنتے آئے ہیں کہ بھینس کے آگے بین بجا تو وہ زیادہ دودھ دیتی ہے۔ ہائے افسوس کہ جاسوسی کے شوق نے یہ کام بھی کروا ڈالا۔ ہمارے بہت ہی شریف سے ہمسائے جنہوں نے بھینسوں کا پورا خاندان پالا ہوا تھا ، ایک دن کسی کام سے اپنے کسی عزیز کے ہاں تشریف لے گئے، مگر غلطی سے بھینسوں کے باڑے کا دروازہ کھلا چھوڑ گئے۔ بس پھر کیا تھا نہ تپتی دھوپ کا احساس کیانہ چلچلاتی گرمی کا خیال۔ ساتھ والے کی سو سال پرانی دکا ن سے ایک بین ادھار لی اور چل پڑے شوق کی تکمیل کے لئے۔ سب سے چھپتے چھپاتے جو نہی باڑے میں داخل ہوئے ایک بھینس بچا بچا چلانے لگی جیسے ہم کوئی چور اچکے ہوں۔ ہم نے فوراََ ایک خاموش کونے میں کھڑی ایک خاموش بھینس کا انتخاب کیا اور بین بجانا شرو ع ہو گئے۔مگر وہاں تو دودھ کا نام و نشان بھی نہ تھا البتہ بھینس صاحبہ کی چیخ و پکار ضرور فضا میں بے سرا رس گھول رہی تھی اور پورا محلہ ابا حضور کی قیادت میں اس سُر سے لطف اندوز ہوتے ہوئے ہماری طرف جاہ و جلال کے ساتھ آرہا تھا، یہ تو ہمیں بعد میں پتہ لگا کہ ان سب کی خبر بھینس کی چیخوں کے علاوہ ہمارے سب سے جگری دوست، ابا حضور کے دوست کے بیٹے نے ہی ابا کو دی تھی، دراصل موصوف نے ہم سے پرانا بدلہ لیا تھا کہ ہم نے ان کی سائیکل میں سے ایک دن میں تین دفعہ ہوا نکال دی تھی۔۔ہم نے بھاگنے کی بھی کوشش کی مگر بے سود۔ آگے کی کہانی کچھ یوں سمجھ لیجیے کہ اس کے بعد چراغوں میں روشنی نہ رہی۔
خیر یہ تو تھی بچپن کی بات۔ جب تھوڑا سا ہوش سنبھالا اور فکرِ فردا نے گھیراتو اپنے ساتھ ساتھ اپنے ہم وطنوں کی فکر بھی دل و دماغ پہ چھائی، بڑے غور و فکر کے بعد سیاست کے پیشے پہ ہماری نظرِ کر م آ کے ٹھہری۔ مگر یہاں تو عوام بھینس کا کردار نبھا رہی تھی اور سیاست دان بین بجانے میں مصروف تھے بلکہ ہے۔حالات کی ستم ظریفی دیکھیے کہ64سال گزرنے کے باوجود بھی یہ بین بجانے کی رسم جاری و ساری ہے۔ کبھی کوئی فوجی بندوقوں سے بین بجاتا ہے تو کبھی کوئی بیان بازی سے۔ فوجی بین کو آمریت اور بیان بازی والی کو جمہوریت کا خوبصورت نام دیا گیا ہے جبکہ ساختی لحاظ سے دونوں میں صرف رنگ کا فرق ہے مال ایک جیسا ہے یعنی ڈھائی نمبر۔اب اس سے پہلے کہ کوئی آکہ اس پہ بھی بین بجانی شروع ہو جائے ہم بھی ہوتے ہیں ندارد اور آپ بھی اپنا بندوبست کر لیجیے۔
(محمد بلال اعظم)


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حضور ۔ پہلے تو جا کر اُس کے سامنے بین بجایئے جس نے محاورے کا غلط مطلب آپ کو بتایا تھا ۔ اندھے کے سامنے آنسو بہانا اور بھینس کے سامنے بین بجانا ایک ہی بات ہے ۔ نہ اندھا آنسو دیکھ سکتا ہے اور نہ بھینس پر بین بجانے کا کوئی اثر ہوتا ہے ۔ دوسری بات یہ ہے کہ بین سیاہ ست دان نہیں بجاتے ۔ وہ تو کچھ اور بجاتے ہیں ۔ البتہ سیاہ ست دانوں کے سامنے عوام بین بجا بجا کے ابھی تک تھکی نہیں ہے ۔ سیاہ ست دان اسلئے لکھا ہے کہ ہمارے ملک میں سیاستدان تو ہے ہی نہیں

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@افتخار اجمل بھوپال

مختصرا یہ کہ ہماری عوامکا بھی کچھ کچھ یہی حال ہے۔
سیاہ ست دان ہر پانچ سال بعد آتے ہیں، کوئی بے نظیر انکم سپورٹ بجاتا ہے تو کوئی لیپ ٹاپ۔ اور عوام پھر مست ملنگ کی طرح مدہوش ہو جاتی ہے۔

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